Dutch Supermarket Manners

It's Saturday afternoon and Edward and I have just returned from our local supermarket. I promised one of Adam's very nice Den Haag colleagues that I would write a positive blog entry about the NL. Warning: this is not going to be that entry.

Part One: Super de Boer in Laren
I do not know what it is with (some) Dutch people that they seem to think it is perfectly OK to push between a (heavily pregnant) woman and the pram (called a "buggy" over here) to snatch a carton of milk off the shelf. This actually happened to me yesterday afternoon at Super de Boer in Laren.
If the Dutch shopper would just wait 5 seconds or so, I could pick up our milk, move forward, and they can then pick up their milk.

For the benefit of any Dutch readers of this, the above is extremely rude behaviour. It not only makes the mother-child shopper scared that someone is about to abduct their child / steal the mobile phone, house keys, purse that are kept in the back pocket of the pram, it also is very effective at telling the mother-child shopper that they are getting in the way and should do their shopping somewhere else.

The problem is that I cannot boycott Super de Boer as it is the nicest supermarket in this area and I am already boycotting the local Boni (see part 2 below).

Part Two: The Boni Check-Out Chick
A few weeks ago (while our internet was broken, or I would have written about this earlier) I popped out to go to the larger local supermarket (the Boni) for the daily groceries. This is the supermarket that smells like a tip. It's cheap, which (was) its saving grace.
I collected the things for the day and lined up at the checkout. To my astonishment, when it was my turn to be served the checkout lady called out to another shopper (who was waiting in the queue at the next checkout) and waved her over. I had already started to load my goods onto the conveyer belt. The checkout operator stopped the belt and glared at me. Other woman pushed in front of me and unloaded her groceries, which were put through (other shopper and Checkout chatting vigorously).
Checkout operator then put my groceries through in complete silence (no greeting etc). She told me the amount due. I paid. She turned to the next person (no offer of receipt "Bon" over here. How weird I thought.
I left the shop, completely bemused and feeling really upset.

I was in tears by the time I reached the babyweighing place on the corner, and this turned to anger when I reached the marketplace. So I thought I would turn around, pointedly get my money back and redo the shopping in the other supermarket in this village. But she had not given me the receipt!
So I am getting my revenge by never buying anything from Boni again. I don't think they'll notice. With hindsight, maybe the other shopper was the best friend of the checkout chick? I don't know but an explanation would have been nice, rather than being barely tolerated at the checkout.

Part Three: The Co-Op Shoppers
Now for the final part - today's delightful experience at the Co-op (the only supermarket left in Eemnes where I will shop). I go in, choose some apples, a carton of milk and some revolting Dutch meat for stirfry - Edward needs some protein. Proceed to the checkout. No, no don't worry, checkout chick is lovely at Co-op. Pay for goods. Try to push stroller through so that I can leave.

The way is blocked by 2 cardboard boxes that are lying on the floor in front of the stroller. I take my pregnant stomach around the pram, pick up the boxes and put them slightly to the side. (This took me all of maybe 30 seconds or so.) I turn around.

A Dutch man has pushed the pram & Edward out of his way and is pointedly stuffing his groceries into a large plastic bag, hovering it near the shelf where he could put his bag if the pram was not there. The checkout lady is still putting his goods through and there is no-one else waiting. I feel a bit miffed that this stranger has (1) touched my pram with my baby in it, and (2) that he is so very close to my keys and mobile which are clearly in view in the back pocket. Thankfully my wallet was safe.

OK I tell myself, don't be oversensitive, just leave. So, with cardboard box with groceries under left arm, pushing Edward in pram with right arm, I head towards the exit. Can I get out? Oh no - a horde of Dutch people decide at that moment to shove their way in. In they come, past the heavily loaded pregnant lady. Don't worry about her, she can fend for herself.

Now I guess no Dutch person would think there was anything wrong with Part Three. But I tell you, this would NEVER happen in Australia, or in the UK. People would be ashamed of themselves. Leaving aside the pregnant with pram issue, it is quite basic manners for people who live in a community to let those people who are exiting, out first, and then enter. One would think in a country as crowded as the NL that this would be really normal.

I must say that we were "warned" in our Dutch class about Dutch "manners". Well, the teacher told us that in the NL it is considered "sexist" if you do something like hold a door open for another person. She called it equality. I call it selfishness. The Dutch attitude actually extends to no-one helping me last week lift Edward in his pram up 3 steps into a tram in Den Haag. I am obviously pregnant - some women are at full term with the tummy I have now. It is not healthy for a pregnant woman to lift pram plus 17 month old toddler up stairs.

What our Australian Dutch teacher didn't say is that this place is without those little social rules that make an individual's daily life better.